It Is You

It's not them it is really you

by Coach Che on 08/16/16

Hey there, I decide to write this blog for all of us (myself in the past) to finally take a deep look at what really is the problem in our failed relationships. Let, me start off by saying your first and most important true love is the LOVE of yourself if you don't love you no one else can fill that space you are missing. I have heard thousands of times, I just can't find the right partner all (fill in the blank men or women) are dogs and the good ones are already taken. Come on you know you have said that at least once in your life and you also know no matter how many different people you've dated it always turns out the same way. So what is the common thread with all your failed relationships .... You, that is right I said it YOU are the common thread, let that sit in your mind for a second.. I had this reality check 11 years ago after making 3 attempts to date and fix ,with my love, a man who was clearly struggling with issues of a transgender identity, an ex crack head former inmate and basically a man/boy rebound. All 3 of these men broke up with me and how could that be, I was a great catch, I am independent, have a college degree and made great money, so it couldn't be me or was it? At that point I decided to stop and look at me I didn't date or see any guys for 5 years I decided it was time I got to know me. I came up with 3 keys to changing who I choose to have in my life as a partner

Number 1 thing I discovered was I am not a doctor, I can't fix broken men it is not my job and they are in NO condition to be in a true relationship. It goes back to the fact you must LOVE YOURSELF first.

Second, my Love is Special NOT magical. When dating broken men no matter how much we love them it would never be enough to fix them (I'm still Not a doctor). How many times in the past did I try to fool myself into believing only my love was what they need as those other women just didn't understand the guy My magical LOVE will turn them into my princess charming.

Third thing is the Law of Attraction which is like attracts like so the energy level you give off is what you get back with one catch I discovered, when you have high energy you can attract low energy men like moths to a flame and you have to recognize yourself in your partner. I also had to ask myself would I date me if not then my soulmate would not date me either goes back to your MUST LOVE YOURSELF.

There is more details and work involved then what I posted in this blog this is just to give you a quick pinch to wake you up to the fact that it really is you and yes you can change it and truly find true love for yourself and others.

Remember to Keep it Simple, Keep Smiling and Feeling the Love 24/7/366. If you would like to learn more or find out how Life coaching can empower you let me know - Coach Che'

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The 1st step to your new normal life...

by Coach Che on 10/08/13

Sitting here thinking about those who today/tonight will have that life transforming event with the death of a spouse or partner and how in an instance your life goes from routine and happy to what the heck just happen, that numb feeling of stepping into an unreal nightmare you wont wake up from.

What was your first step forward into the new normal life?

For me, it was giving Kevin's clothes away as I knew Kevin was the type of person who would give the shirt off his back to someone in need. I kept certain items but for the most part since he would not need why not give them to someone who did need them.

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